Monday was to be the last hard workout prior to the Philly Half the following Sunday. I felt recovered from the beautiful Palisades run the previous Saturday and I was ready to go. According to my training plan, I had stayed away from all races and speed workouts until the beginning of September. Philly was to be the first real race in preparation for my running the Dublin Marathon. For the first time in almost a year I would run a race full out. Many months of hard training were behind me and now at last I would get some feedback on how I was doing. It was a long time to wait and I was a bit apprehensive. My goal for Philly was to break 1:40:00, something I hadnít done in 2Ĺ years.
The workout was 5 x 800 in 3:20. I warmed up a couple of miles and got to the 6th Street track on the East River at about 8:00 AM. I hit the intervals in 3:24, 3:17, 3:20, 3:19 and 3:20. I was exhausted but happy as I ran the mile back home as a cool down. As I said in a note to a friend that day: "The intervals went fine Ö pretty damn consistent. I am getting confident and really positive about Philly and then Dublin. Ö We can do lunch on Friday Ö you can wish me well for Philly."
Tuesday, Sept. 11 2001, 8:48 AM - the world changed:
I was on a train to visit my elderly aunt in Westchester. When we got off the train around 10:00 oíclock, we couldnít believe what we were hearing. The images on TV were like scenes from a movie. All day we spent our time watching the drama unfold and trying to call everyone, our family, our friends who worked downtown, everyone, anyone.
We couldnít get back to Manhattan and stayed overnight with my aunt. It was a sleepless night. We wondered every time we heard a plane, what it was, was it another?
I thought about the half marathon I was supposed to do and I didnít know if I should go, I didnít know if it would be held, I didnít know if I could get there even if I wanted to go.
I read an email message from Ed Altman (thank God he was safe!) that there would be a group run that night in the Park in lieu of the regular speed workout. I knew it would help to go, so I went up and met the group. We had some discussion and a moment of silence and then we started north around the park. I couldnít help but think of that night in September 1995 when I ran alone along this same path in the twilight and ran by the candles in memory of Maria Montiero who was killed while running in the Park the previous Sunday. In reflection at that time I wrote: "There were flowers on one side of the road and candles lighting the twilight on the other . . . What can one do? . . . When we lose one of our own we are all diminished . . . The only answer is to help, to care, to love one another." † The flowers and candles are back again, but the same answer is true, truer today than ever before. We only have each other!
While walking back to get my bag I saw a chalk message scrawled by de la Vega on 79th Street: "An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind"
On Thursday, the web site for the Philly Half said that the event would go on as planned. I decided, based in part by the lift to my spirit from last nightís run, that I would go. I emailed those whom I knew to be going and Terry affirmed that he too felt it was the right thing to do. I took the day off from running
Later that day, my daughter Susan called from her home on Portland, Oregon and said the one thing she wished she had was an "I Love NY" T-shirt. I was touched in a nice way by this.
It was raining on Friday morning and I went for an easy run with Sarah. We headed down along the East River Park but the deep puddles blocked our progress, so we decided to just do some loops on the 6th Street track. As we made the rounds I remembered the intervals I had done here on Monday, just 4 days but an eternity ago
Lunch with my friend was cancelled. She was going home to be with her mom. She had lost 2 close friends. "I need to go home. † Good luck this weekend. I hope that you have a great run! We're so lucky we can run." Yes, we are so very lucky!
I found a poem on the Internet written by the English Poet Siegfried Sassoon, who served in the trenches in World War I. The Dragon and the Undying - published in 1917. I found it strangely prophetic, and the images perhaps more relevant today than they were at the time they were set down:
The Dragon and the Undying|
by Siegfried Sassoon (1917)
All night the flares go up; the Dragon sings
Yet, though the slain are homeless as the breeze,
I took the train down to Philadelphia but didnít find anyone I knew either at the station or on the train. I got to the hotel and checked in and then went in to get my number. The energy of the crowd felt good and except for some grating music that seemed out of place, it was good to be with these fit and energetic folks. I met up with David and Marge Kos and we did a little catching up. I then bumped into Moninne from my Tuesday night group, and then I saw Joel, Simone, Jay and finally Terry and Anne. It was good to be among friends.
I wasnít up for anything organized, so I wandered down to the lobby to decide where to go by myself. There I unexpectedly ran into my old friend C. She had a happy glowing look on her face and somehow seemed to escape the somberness most people were feeling. She came over and, after a hug, said: "Iím expecting twins". This short announcement literally turned my mood around. The wonder and excitement of new life drove away the negative thoughts, and some of Cís happiness infected me.
Then I saw Debbie and Joel, together with some of their group, and realizing I belonged with friends, I invited myself along to the dinner they had organized. We took a few cabs to the Spaghetti Warehouse, and there we met more of the group. † We had a fun meal where talk alternated between politics and personal matters: a new girl friend, a hair color, what to have for dessert. I was pretty somber, and mostly stayed out of the conversation, but when I looked over at C, her obvious happy glow cheered my spirit. We returned to the hotel, very full and tired, and I slept better than I had for the last 4 nights.
Sunday, Race day:
Before the start we had a moment of silence, and then the race organizer read off two bib numbers of people who were registered to be here, but were lost in the tragedy. One was for a woman named Danielle who was just turning 30. This was a chilling moment. We then held hands and all sang "God Bless America" which was quite moving. I did my best to focus on the task at hand and I was determined to do my best, and in so doing try to affirm life in the face of death.
I never did see the marker for mile 1, but I tried to rein in my excitement and get into a steady pace. I was supposed to run the first two miles in 7:45s, but there was no way to know.
Mile 2, 15:20:
Mile 3, 7:34:
Mile 4, 7:28:
Mile 5, 7:20:
Mile 6, 7:34:
Mile 7, 7:26:
Mile 8, 7:26:
Mile 9, 7:21:
Mile 10, 7:26:
Mile 11, 7:21:
Mile 12, 7:34:
There was no 13th mile marker, but later I calculated I had done a 7:19 for this last full
mile. Donít ask me how this came to be
my fastest mile, but I guess I just hung in there.
I wish there was a way to remember how to make these efforts, but
it just has to happen when it happens. In the last .1 mile, who
should pass me, but RSNS!. But this was
OK, he had done what he came for, and now he could do his own thing.
At the last, weíre all on our own.
Finish, 1:38:03 (chip 1:37:35):
I got some refreshments and started to look for friends who had finished, and I noticed that subconsciously, my inner cadence had changed itís tune. No longer was "God Bless America" going through my head but suddenly it was that old Sinatra Favorite: "New York, New York". Maybe it was the conversations with strangers who, seeing my New York Flyer singlet, would ask: "Are you from there?" "Did you know anyone?" It was clear that people from everywhere cared a great deal about our hometown. The tune would simply not leave my head and stayed in my subconscious even on the train ride home.
I bumped into WWSH&T on the refreshment line and thanked her for pulling me along from mile 9 through 11. She recognized me and thanked me also. She said I had helped pull her along and had finished just seconds behind me. It was good to know that energy can flow both ways and can help both, when two runners are pushing each other. (Or two peolple are helping each other!)
I found first David and then almost at the same time, Marge Kos. I caught them right at the finish, so they were exhausted, looking for water, for relief, for food. I helped direct them to the food and headed back that way myself.
I then found Anne, who was literally beaming; she had run a 6-minute PR! I told her I was very happy with my time too, but no, it was not a PR. (My PR was in 1990 and I wonít be seeing that again.)
I circled back again and ran into first Jay and then Moninne, Jo, Joel and Debbie and the whole Tuesday night group together with the crowd I had dinner with last night. There was a general feeling of accomplishment from everyone concerned. And then there was C, just standing there, glowing with a new life force.
I finally headed back to the hotel to clean up and check out. And as I walked from the hotel to Suburban Station around noon, the whole race setup was practically dismantled. I suppose the local travelers were glad to see this disruption to their everyday life gone.
[I want to wake up in a city that never sleeps,|
And find Iím A number one, top of the list, king of the hill, A number one.]
The train ride home was long and tiresome. I didnít find another runner on the entire train, first the SEPTA train to Trenton, and then the NJ Transit train from Trenton to Penn Station. Numerous passengers got on, especially at 30th Street station and at Princeton. The car was filled to overflowing, with some passengers actually standing. I sat crammed into a seat with two young Princeton co-eds who were talking about doing their laundry and other day-to-day inanities. It seemed an inordinately crowded train for mid Sunday afternoon. My stiff, tired legs were uncomfortably stuffed into the seat in front of me.
[These little town blues are melting away|
Iím gonna make a brand new start of it in old New York.]
When we passed the Newark station and crossed the Jersey Meadows, I glanced at the lower Manhattan skyline and got my first good glimpse of that empty, ghostly skyline. My head was filled with things that couldnít be put into words.
[And If I can make it there, Iím gonna make it anywhere,|
Itís up to you - New York, New York.]
Finally the train entered the tunnel, and I thought: It sure feels good to be home.
We're gonna make a brand new start of it in old New York|
Yes, we can make it here, theyíll see it everywhere,
Itís up to us - New York, New York.
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